If I had a dollar for every time someone told me marriage is hard, I’d probably head straight to Starbucks and make it rain. Ha ha! Seriously though, I’ve heard that statement too many times to count. It seems to be everyone’s go-to marital advice, but honestly, it’s not very encouraging. And in the case of my marriage, it’s not true.
Waking up next to your best friend every day is easy! It’s not difficult to love someone who gives you butterflies every time they walk into a room. It’s simple really. If you’ve found your perfect match, your soulmate, marriage is a piece of cake. The hard part is not being married. It’s how you handle yourself in the marriage. It’s learning how to operate in these 3 things:
You can’t change your spouse. You can’t make him put the toilet seat down. You can’t make her put the cap back on the toothpaste. You can’t force your spouse to do or not do anything, and YOU have to accept this. You can pray for change to happen, but know that it may not. You have to make the decision to put your selfish desires aside, and love them even if you don’t get your way.
Your spouse may have started the argument. Their attitude may be terrible, but they are NOT the enemy. No matter what the conflict is, as a married couple, you’re always on the same team. The devil absolutely hates marriage and will jump on every opportunity to destroy yours. You have to recognize the true enemy, and learn to forgive over and over again.
You made a covenant with God, and It’s not something that you can opt out of. You made a promise to God to love your spouse no matter what, no matter how you feel, no matter how they make you feel. Every moment won’t be perfect and full of sunshine and rainbows. It’s up to you to remember your covenant and give grace in those moments.
After 2 years of marriage, I am by no means an expert at it. But so far, I can confidently say it’s easy. Learning to become a selfless, forgiving and gracious person every. single. day. is not. Thank God I have the rest of my life to work on it.
Happy 2 years to us!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8