Two years ago, I wasn’t a wife. I wasn’t a mom. I was just Jamie; just a woman with the desire to become those things, and a heart to match. My only responsibility was to make sure Jamie was happy, and she was.
Two years later, I’m not just Jamie anymore. I’m a wife. I’m Mommy (or Daddy, as Karter likes to call me). I’m a caregiver, a nurse, a cook, a maid, a comfort zone, a provider and even food to my newborn. With all of my new roles, it’s easy to forget who Jamie is, or was.
I love my husband and my sons. I love who I am to them and who they are to me, but I love me too, and there’s nothing wrong with that. In the midst of crying babies, dirty dishes and piles of bills, I can’t help but miss Jamie. I miss her carefree attitude that has been replaced with the seriousness of managing a household. I want her optimism back in moments of complete chaos. And to be completely honest, after giving birth to two babies and nursing them, I just want to be beautiful again.
As much as I prayed for this life, I never prayed to lose myself in it, and I won’t. I miss me so much, that I’m willing to find me again. I’m committed to loving Jamie, so she can give her best love to everyone around her. That’s no one’s responsibility, but my own.
If you feel like I do, and you miss you too, my prayer is that you’ll find yourself again. Sometimes, life comes at you fast, and although it might be all that you’ve prayed for, you get lost. But in order to give your best self, you have to be your best to yourself. Don’t forget who you are and whose you are.
God made Jamie, fearfully and wonderfully, and I miss her.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.