If you’ve read any of my blog posts over the past year, you know that I’ve battled maternal depression among other every day struggles. Although I’m extremely blessed, my mental health has taken hit after hit, and I’m trying all I can to keep my peace. With that in mind, I recently did a thing…I asked for help.
This may seem insignificant to you, but for a strong-willed, proud woman like me, it was a hard decision to make. Who wants to admit they don’t have it all together? And to be honest, who wants people all up in their business? Definitely not me! But I’ve come to the realization that God has blessed me with mentors and prayer warriors for a reason, and it’s time I accept it.
A couple nights ago, I had an argument with my husband about absolutely nothing. If you’ve been in a relationship, you know how that goes. Instead of brushing the disagreement off, I went into full panic mode. I was sleep deprived and mourning the anniversary of my brother’s death, so that was just icing on the cake. I had a flashback to my moments of depression and I began to have an anxiety attack. I was upset from the argument, but even more mad at myself for letting it get me to this point. I’ve been managing no sleep, toddler tantrums, and newborn colic like a boss, and I let a small disagreement break me down. Talk about frustrated!
Instead of burying all of my emotions and brushing them off once again, I paced my living room looking through my phone for someone to call. I needed someone to pray for me, and so I texted one of my mentors. As stupid as I felt for having to explain how a little disagreement with my husband brought me to needing help calming down, I asked for it. She came over, helped me with the babies, listened to me, offered advice and prayed for me. It was that simple.
I made the decision to be vulnerable and to pour out everything I was feeling, even though it was temporary. I felt 200% better afterwards. If you’re reading this, I encourage you to do the same. If you have a moment of weakness, no matter how big or small you feel the situation is, ask for help. It’s time we stop being too embarrassed to seek the community that God has given us. We need each other.