My Husband is NOT My Everything

My Husband is not my everything. He’s not my world. He’s not my all. He just doesn’t fit that criteria for me, and honestly he never will…

kids0117_01Sure, he’s a great man. He loves me unconditionally, treats me with respect and goes to any length to make me happy. So why isn’t he enough to be my everything? For me, the answer is simple…Because he is not God. I love my husband very much, and he is absolutely enough for me as a lover, a friend, a provider, etc. However, beyond all of that, he is still just a man, and there are just some voids that man was never meant to, and never can fill.

I’m sure we’re all familiar with this commandment, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:3) Although, most of us aren’t worshiping other Gods, some of us are worshiping people, and we don’t even realize it. This is the moment I realized:

Shortly after ending a 7 year relationship, I moved to a new state and started dating my now husband long distance. Being on my own, I started to feel depressed and lonely. I went to see a counselor at church and I talked him about my feelings and the loss I had experienced in my past relationship. He asked me how my past affected my new relationship. I told him that it made me not want to make my boyfriend my everything. I told him that although I loved him, I couldn’t risk the pain of making him my world, just to have my world fall apart. I said if he up and left me I would be really hurt, but I also had faith that eventually, I would be ok. The counselor told me that was the perfect place for me to be.

Making someone my everything means, I am putting all of my energy and faith into them. It also means I am depending on them to give me life and be the source of everything I need. That’s not only unfair to them, it’s unhealthy for me. Knowing and trusting God as my source, allows me to not pressure my husband to be anything more than he was meant to be to me, and gives me peace knowing that all of my needs are being met spiritually and physically. With these two in my life, in their correct positions in my life, I am always satisfied.

Some of you are seeking joy and peace in a significant other. You are looking for someone to make you whole and complete you as a person. Even if you find the most compatible person for you in the entire world, your soul will not be satisfied. That type of fulfillment can only be found in God, and he is always enough.

 

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10 thoughts on “My Husband is NOT My Everything

  1. Kawana says:

    Great advice. Often times people allow individuals to become idols without even realizing it. Being aware of what you need holistically will prevent you from feeling like someone is “your world.” Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  2. Jerrica says:

    I am so happy you wrote this. This was a very great read and will help to open the eyes of a lot of married and dating couples. Knowing respective roles in this aspect is essential to a relationship and can very well make or break your relationship given the expectations.

    Love Jerrica 😘

  3. Kiana S says:

    This is amazing. I find myself thinking of things like this a lot. I always felt like no one understood where I came from when I speak of things like this. Reading this makes me feel like someone out there actually understands and know the real meaning. Keep them coming and may God continue to bless you!

  4. Quaninika says:

    Many people don’t seem to understand and accept that. You did a wonderful job presenting this to your audience!!! Understanding things from a spiritual standpoint, makes a marriage (and everything else) so much more beautiful!!!

  5. Anonymous says:

    So very true….people place many things before God and don’t even realize it. I know people who are at every sorority function but won’t show up at church! If you’re giving all of your love, peace and happiness to someone or something other than God….you’ll be living a miserable life! Great read!

  6. Buffy Anissa says:

    Awesome post, Jamie! Seems like you learned this not only the hard way, but pretty early in life. You’d be surprised at the number of people that keep repeating the same cycle instead of learning the lesson right before them.

  7. GB says:

    Very powerful. I’m much older,been married before and those words are very much in order.You are a bright young lady. Congratulations

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