“Being married won’t heal you and being single won’t kill you. Waiting on God is NEVER a waste of time.”

I saw this quote on Instagram and I had an “Amen” moment. You see, for the first time in my adult life, I’m single. A year ago, I had my whole life figured out: ring, husband, baby (in that order). I had pictured myself married and ready to start a family by the age of 25. Now, here I am halfway through 24 and I don’t even have a boyfriend; no ring, no husband, no baby. Should I begin having my quarter life crisis, or nah?

All of my life, I have placed a huge emphasis on love and having a significant other. I’m sure most singles would agree that the idea of having someone who is willing to give you the world is pretty exciting. It’s true that everybody wants somebody; a friend, a lover, a partner in crime, but what happens if you don’t find that special someone when you want them? Remember, God doesn’t operate on our time.

It’s ok to be single. Let me repeat that. IT’S OK TO BE SINGLE. After eating some rather peculiar tasting Chinese food the other day, I opened my fortune cookie and it read, “You will surround yourself with warmth and riches.” I usually don’t pay much attention to the little pre-printed pieces of paper stuffed in a weird looking “cookie”, but this one really spoke to me. It didn’t say, “You will meet the person of your dreams, fall in love and they will surround you with warmth and riches.” It said YOU will surround yourself…We spend so much time (women especially) waiting on God to send us a mate. Sometimes, we get so desperate that we’ll settle for someone we don’t really want, just for the comfort of having someone to call our own.

Stop waiting. Stop settling. Start loving yourself and treating yourself like you would treat your soulmate. Stop placing your focus on having someone else determine your happiness. Realize that you have the power to surround yourself with warmth and riches, and the rest will follow.